Re-framing Your Relationships

Ladder of Conscioueness

I often work with clients who need their memoir written. Usually, they have a clear idea that they are trying to get across so that the book will be a legacy they can leave for their loved ones, literally close a certain chapter in their life to gain closure from traumatic events in their life.

This idea is what I need to create the Story Arc, showing the author client of mine as a protagonist in their own story book, who goes through transformational process and at the end has an epiphany that they wish to share as their unique wisdom or The Elixir to make the world a better place for everyone.

In order to serve my client to the fullest potential, I take them through a concise exercise where we review The Hero’s Journey together. I need to see what their thought process is and they need someone to bounce ideas off at this stage – it is an effective collaborative activity.

At the end of this brief process, ideally they should be able to identify Archetype of main characters in their life story – Mentor, Herald, Trickster…But in real world, it doesn’t happen this easily. The road block usually is how they perceive their relationships in terms of their ultimate purpose in life.

At this stage, I love to fall back on Dr. David Hawkins’ Map of Consciousness, which I have adapted into Ladder of Consciousness. It is an intuitive tool where one can pin point emotions that are evoked when they think of the relationship with the problematic characters in their life.

In order to use this, stick with the first emotion that is inspired by the relationship. Write it down against the name of the person. Continue until you have all characters covered and the corresponding emotions. What is the “big” picture that emerges from reviewing the emotions? Are there patterns repeating. Is there a concentration of certain emotions?

Next, isolate the negative emotions profiles. You wish to transmute those towards lighter or positives ones, like forgiveness so you can allow yourself the freedom to experience joy, love and happiness again.

Once this is done, review the Archetypes again and hopefully you will be able to re-frame the way you view your relationships.

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